In tears I sat here waiting for my other half to arrive home from work. He wasn’t unhappy. In fact, he said it might be a blessing as I was under so much stress from the job that it was affecting my health. At that point I was still very upset and didn’t comprehend anything beyond the fact that I didn’t have a job to go to anymore and I wouldn’t have a decent paycheck coming in to help pay the bills.  We sat and talked about the situation and decided that I would not go back to work and finish out the week. They didn’t want me so why do them the favor of doing my job as usual.

The next morning I went in and got my personal things out of my desk. I said goodbye to my coworkers in the office.  I heard them say they would keep in touch. Out of 5 only 2 have called me, one that Monday night to make sure I was all right since I was so upset. Shows you what kind of people I worked with.

I did get severance pay, will get a check for any vacation and sick time I hadn’t used, and the company is paying for 2 months of health insurance. However, I lost my life insurance the last day I worked.  This also bothers me, since being diabetic complicates a lot of things.

Searching for a decent health insurance has been the major setback for me. I never realized how much companies must pay and why we have paid for part of the health insurance. I am finding rates over $150 per month, some as high as being in the range of $500 a month for 1 person with no dependents.  There are also very high deductibles on these insurance policies. I have gotten information and estimates from at least 3 of the major health insurance plans only to find that I may not be able to afford them at all.  I need to sit down and go over my monthly bills to decide just what I can afford.  Perhaps this is one reason why there are so many people who do not have health insurance in the U.S.  It’s given me headaches trying to find the needed information.  I get frustrated at times when I don’t seem to get anywhere with some of  the people I am dealing with online and on the telephone.

Being almost 62 I do have the option of retiring early, which would mean a reduction in the rate that I would get per month from Social Security.  If  I  work until I am 66 , just 4 years from now, the amount of Social Security would go up about $350 per month. There is so much to consider that I keep finding myself going around in circles trying to decide just what to do.  Of course, I did file for unemployment…that’s a joke in itself.

Pennsylvania unemployment funds are going down, so my first payment was 10% off for taxes and 2.3 % off for BENEFIT REDUCTION (when there isn’t a lot of money in the fund account). Wish I had known that because I didn’t get the amount I was told I would get.  That led me to do more online research to find out just what happened. The government might think they are helping us “poor unemployed”, but to me it was like a knife in my back.

Checking for a job the 3rd week you are unemployed is now required. You need to list all places you searched for work. You go by some criteria:  distance to travel and amount you made at your last job.  My searches on Monster and Career Link pulled up nothing.  No jobs in my area. I didn’t really think there would be at this time.

Who would want to hire me for the amount I made? At my age? I’m qualified for a few different positions so I can be versatile in what type of job I look for, however, the old saying THERE’S NOTHING OUT THERE came to mind this afternoon when Monster stated “no jobs fit your criteria”.

I will admit that I actually do feel better – my stress level is down, blood sugars are better (more in the range they should be) and I am getting more exercise now that I am not sitting at a desk all day. The headaches I would constantly get are gone. Even my chiropractor told me I am not so much out of alignment now. Perhaps this was a good omen for me, but it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. How I would love to sit here and rattle off a very nasty letter to the CEO about the treatment I got on the job. Complaining about different things that happened while I was working. But would that do me any good? It might get things off my chest, but it won’t help me find another job or health insurance.

I know I am not the only one out there who falls into this category. Perhaps we can help each other. I don’t want to sit here and mope all day. I have kept myself busy and been  in touch with the good friends I have. I also keep a notebook next to the computer and write down each day who I talk to and where I called. I may need to refer back to this notebook at times, which I have found I do quite often. Keeping records helps keep your mind in better control of the situation.

Did the company do me a favor? Would I have gotten even worse with more stress each month? I really can’t say. I just know I will never ever refer anyone I know to that company.   While I am still angry over losing the job I really liked and got paid well for, I am still wondering if indeed it was my age that was also a factor. You see, my friend Dee also got laid off. She’s almost retirement age. The younger coworkers are still in the office. But there is no way to prove this and the company will deny it, of course.

I intend to keep updating this section of my blog, letting others know what I have found. I do research daily right now. It’s the only thing that helps me to deal with my lack of a job. I consider the research as my current job…one I am doing for myself.

The biggest hurdle with stress when you are a diabetic is over eating. You may not think this is a problem until the pounds on the scale in the bathroom start to climb, adding more and more as each day goes by. Being diabetic, there are certain foods we should not eat. I didn’t say can’t, just shouldn’t. Lately I find myself on a potato chip binge. I swear the bags are calling to me whenever I go into a grocery store! I haven’t had candy in a while, until the other day when I bought some chocolate covered cookies. I ate one  then another. I did stop, but the fact that I wasn’t even hungry when I ate them made me realize I was feeling stressed once more. Then I read how stress can speed up the aging process. Oh, Lord, now what? I just wanted you to know you were not alone in feeling stress or over eating when you are stressed.

We need to stop and think of why we want to grab that junk food that we know we shouldn’t have. What is causing the stressed out feelings at the time? Worried about the future? Job loss? Expecting a huge bill in the mail that you know you can’t afford? Not being about to pay the bills you do have? Needing to purchase another vehicle and worrying about the loan being turned down? Worried about the kids? The spouse or significant other? All this can cause us to feel ill, even when we aren’t. Stress can cause all sorts of problems with your health, including stomach problems, ulcers, panic attacks, even heart attacks. We all need to be aware of our stress levels.

There are some simple things you can do to help yourself get off the stress train. Socialize with friends and family…don’t just sit there and mope, thinking about things you have no control over. Talk, laugh, cry, get angry, but don’t get too emotionally down that you begin to injure yourself, someone else, or punch walls. Regular exercise can help since it reduces anxiety. Eat a healthy diet, stay away from too much junk food. Keep doing things you enjoy or find a hobby that you will enjoy. Read! It doesn’t matter what you read, but do read. Learn more about stress, what makes things happen, life, fantasy, and more. It will take your mind off your worries and send you on a new journey of creating memories and knowledge. Watch a really good movie. Breathe! Go slowly at first. Try yoga or meditation. Your best bet is to find a friend who is also stressed so you both can help yourselves and each other.

Shingles are a virus that lies dormant (sleeping) in the body, a result of having had chickenpox when a person was younger. This virus can wake up when the body is stressed, diseased, or from age. A weakened immune system can make this virus appear. Some people who have had chickenpox never get shingles, while others do get it. Shingles is not contagious, but can cause some people who have never had chickenpox to get it. You should avoid being in contact with those who have a weakened immune system, pregnant women, or young children who have not had chickenpox if you get the rash.

A viral infection of the nerve roots, shingles will appear as a rash in a band, strip or small area of the body. At first you may feel like you have a flu. There is no fever, but you do have itching, tingling or pain in one spot. The rash will appear in a few days. This rash will then turn into clusters of blisters which fill with fluid and then crust over. The blisters take 2 to 4 weeks to heal. There is no cure, but your doctor can prescribe steroids to help the pain. Antidepressants and creams will also help.

I am not a doctor or medical professional. I just want to make people aware of this disease and explain it in a manner where someone will understand. If you think you have shingles, please seek the help of a doctor.

Exercise will help with stress. Not just a little, but at least 20 minutes worth to get your heart beat rate up. If you can hear your heart beating you are doing great. I don’t seem to find enough time in my days to do a good exercise program. If you can get exercise squeezed into your day at least 3 to 4 times a week that should help you to keep your blood sugar levels lower.

Now I am going to tell you a few things about diabetes that I recently read:

High fiber foods can lower your blood sugar. Good sources of high fiber include apples, grapes, cantaloupes, bananas, peaches, green beans, sweet potatoes and many other fruits and vegetables. Women under age 50 should have 25 grams of fiber a day, men 38 grams. Over 50 women should have 21 grams a day, men 30 grams.

Neuropathy (nerve damage) is very common among diabetics. It can be a side effect of some medications. High doses of Vitamin B6 are known to cause nerve problems, leading to uncoordinated movements like staggered walking or poor balance. I sometimes get what I term a “twitch” in my leg muscles which causes my leg to jerk. I can feel the slight tingling in my feet and toes at times, telling me it’s time to get busy again and do some more walking or exercise. That seems to help me. There are some lotions on the market for diabetic neuropathy. I have used some, but haven’t found them to be extremely helpful. In other words, they won’t take the tingling away, but will help lessen it at the time you put it on. Best thing to do about neuropathy is to discuss it with your doctor and see what he/she recommends you to do.

Dieting is something most diabetics need to do since most of us are overweight. For me it’s a huge struggle to diet. I watch what I eat, but the pounds don’t want to come off as fast as I would like them to. Crash diets are not good since they are unhealthy and don’t last for long. Cutting 250 calories a day can help you lose at least half a pound a week. Now I never said this would be fast! But losing a little at a time will help you to keep it off longer. If you think about the pounds lost in a year you would lose 26 lbs. Now that sounds so much better, doesn’t it? Diet pills on the market are not generally good for diabetics. READ THE LABELS! I can’t stress that enough. It’s much better to lose weight on your own than to think the quick way is the best. Pills just don’t work for most diabetics. Once again, consult your doctor on dieting. You can help by switching to low fat or no fat foods, grilling foods so the fat runs off, drink water to feel fuller, and do allow yourself a treat each day so you won’t feel deprived. That treat may be 1 cookie not the whole pack! Use your brain here!

One diet you don’t want to try is the Atkins diet. It’s definitely not diabetes friendly. Cutting carb intake to almost nothing without adjusting your diabetes meds could cause you to bottom out on the blood sugar levels. You would put yourself at risk. Once again, discuss this with your doctor before even trying it.

What to lower your blood pressure? Have at least 3-4 low fat milk servings a day. Besides, calcium is good for your bones.

The bottom line here is that exercise and watching what you shove in your mouth every day are going to make a difference for you. Get yourself a date book and write down what you eat every day. Make columns for breakfast, snacks, lunch, and supper. Be honest to yourself when you write these things down. Then at the end of the week see just what you ate. You may need to make adjustments for the following week or you can pat yourself on the back for being so diligent in your eating pattern for the week. There are days when I HAVE to have some chocolate. A small piece like a Hershey’s kiss will satisfy me. Or that 1 chocolate cookie. You have to decide what you want to do and now is the time to get started.

Until a cure is found for diabetes we will struggle, but we will survive if we do what we should for ourselves. Check back with me because I will continue to give out different information about diabetes. We can never learn enough about our own bodies.