In tears I sat here waiting for my other half to arrive home from work. He wasn’t unhappy. In fact, he said it might be a blessing as I was under so much stress from the job that it was affecting my health. At that point I was still very upset and didn’t comprehend anything beyond the fact that I didn’t have a job to go to anymore and I wouldn’t have a decent paycheck coming in to help pay the bills.  We sat and talked about the situation and decided that I would not go back to work and finish out the week. They didn’t want me so why do them the favor of doing my job as usual.

The next morning I went in and got my personal things out of my desk. I said goodbye to my coworkers in the office.  I heard them say they would keep in touch. Out of 5 only 2 have called me, one that Monday night to make sure I was all right since I was so upset. Shows you what kind of people I worked with.

I did get severance pay, will get a check for any vacation and sick time I hadn’t used, and the company is paying for 2 months of health insurance. However, I lost my life insurance the last day I worked.  This also bothers me, since being diabetic complicates a lot of things.

Searching for a decent health insurance has been the major setback for me. I never realized how much companies must pay and why we have paid for part of the health insurance. I am finding rates over $150 per month, some as high as being in the range of $500 a month for 1 person with no dependents.  There are also very high deductibles on these insurance policies. I have gotten information and estimates from at least 3 of the major health insurance plans only to find that I may not be able to afford them at all.  I need to sit down and go over my monthly bills to decide just what I can afford.  Perhaps this is one reason why there are so many people who do not have health insurance in the U.S.  It’s given me headaches trying to find the needed information.  I get frustrated at times when I don’t seem to get anywhere with some of  the people I am dealing with online and on the telephone.

Being almost 62 I do have the option of retiring early, which would mean a reduction in the rate that I would get per month from Social Security.  If  I  work until I am 66 , just 4 years from now, the amount of Social Security would go up about $350 per month. There is so much to consider that I keep finding myself going around in circles trying to decide just what to do.  Of course, I did file for unemployment…that’s a joke in itself.

Pennsylvania unemployment funds are going down, so my first payment was 10% off for taxes and 2.3 % off for BENEFIT REDUCTION (when there isn’t a lot of money in the fund account). Wish I had known that because I didn’t get the amount I was told I would get.  That led me to do more online research to find out just what happened. The government might think they are helping us “poor unemployed”, but to me it was like a knife in my back.

Checking for a job the 3rd week you are unemployed is now required. You need to list all places you searched for work. You go by some criteria:  distance to travel and amount you made at your last job.  My searches on Monster and Career Link pulled up nothing.  No jobs in my area. I didn’t really think there would be at this time.

Who would want to hire me for the amount I made? At my age? I’m qualified for a few different positions so I can be versatile in what type of job I look for, however, the old saying THERE’S NOTHING OUT THERE came to mind this afternoon when Monster stated “no jobs fit your criteria”.

I will admit that I actually do feel better – my stress level is down, blood sugars are better (more in the range they should be) and I am getting more exercise now that I am not sitting at a desk all day. The headaches I would constantly get are gone. Even my chiropractor told me I am not so much out of alignment now. Perhaps this was a good omen for me, but it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. How I would love to sit here and rattle off a very nasty letter to the CEO about the treatment I got on the job. Complaining about different things that happened while I was working. But would that do me any good? It might get things off my chest, but it won’t help me find another job or health insurance.

I know I am not the only one out there who falls into this category. Perhaps we can help each other. I don’t want to sit here and mope all day. I have kept myself busy and been  in touch with the good friends I have. I also keep a notebook next to the computer and write down each day who I talk to and where I called. I may need to refer back to this notebook at times, which I have found I do quite often. Keeping records helps keep your mind in better control of the situation.

Did the company do me a favor? Would I have gotten even worse with more stress each month? I really can’t say. I just know I will never ever refer anyone I know to that company.   While I am still angry over losing the job I really liked and got paid well for, I am still wondering if indeed it was my age that was also a factor. You see, my friend Dee also got laid off. She’s almost retirement age. The younger coworkers are still in the office. But there is no way to prove this and the company will deny it, of course.

I intend to keep updating this section of my blog, letting others know what I have found. I do research daily right now. It’s the only thing that helps me to deal with my lack of a job. I consider the research as my current job…one I am doing for myself.

This mess didn’t happen overnight and it sure won’t be cleaned up quickly. It’s taken decades to get the U.S. to where it is today…in a major “traffic jam” of extremely bad economy. Putting the blame on the past elected officials isn’t entirely true, either. You need to add the bank ceos, mortgage brokers and real estate people to the list. They all helped contribute to the downfall of the economy. It’s sad that no one really can point a finger at the one major person who started the ball rolling, but that will never happen. There are too many greedy people who took advantage of a decent economy, told home buyers they could afford that mortgage over $1000 a month, and then laughed when homes began to be foreclosed. They didn’t care because they had gotten their commissions and bonuses.

We, as a nation, have to be strong and fight back. We can do it, but it will take TIME. That’s something President Obama doesn’t seem to think we have. He is rushing into this and that project as fast as he can. He will run out of steam very soon if he keeps that energy level going. Is he researching these things before he jumps right into the fire? Is he really trying to be the most wonderful president ever to be listed in the history books as not only the first black president, but the one who got the most done in the first 100 days? I have some advice for him. SLOW DOWN! Listen to the people out there, not just the people who surround you in Washington. Listen to the little people, the ones who have the small businesses that have kept America going all these years. The ones who are struggling to make ends meet week after week. Your fellow Americans who want things to improve, but who aren’t willing to go too far to make that happen. Your fellow constituents in Washington were voted into office by these people and they should be listening, too. It’s time to fight again for America, home of the brave and the free. Can we please have America be fruitful again? Prosperous and strong? We need to work together on doing this. One nation under God. I’ll be praying for America and I ask you to join me.